While 2018 was the best year in media for me it was also the worst year as a blogger so far.
To keep a long winded story short what I dreaded came to be in 2018. There were several instances that year where it felt like I was posting stuff not because I wanted to and was having fun doing so…but because I felt I had to. Besides informing as many interested people about as many yuri media as I possibly could this blog served another important purpose, a haven for me to talk about yuri with others since yuri fans in Aruba were like hay in a giant needle stack. Good luck finding someone there who loves the genre as much as I do. Anyway blogging felt like a chore than a fun hobby at times. I did it for free after all. For reasons I do not know some kind people started rewarded me. Much appreciated.
Image source HERE.
Around early 2018 the pain had begun. Things started getting pretty rough at the start of my Uma Musume coverage. The petty hostility toward others who just wanted to watch and talk about the show infuriated me. This went beyond ranting to harassing others for not sharing your self-serving rage. There were other instances of this the rest of the year to the point of me slowly taking action. I foolishly hoped something like this wouldn’t happen but throughout the years I learned how petulant/easily triggered many people were on the internet so I should have seen it coming. I am a wrestling fan who frequents the internet for Pete’s sake. Fellow fans who just want to enjoy the product know how crappy it is being part of that community.
Lesson 1: The Internet is good but also very toxic.
The second part of my crappy year was doing too much. I noticed some blogger pals like Rory and Macho Chikorita choosing to cover around 3-4 anime per season while I usually tackled 6-7. Add the above tripe and the feeling of overworking myself caught up to me. Sometimes I had a lot of fun typing stuff but on more than one occasion I wrote episodics just because. Sometimes I did it angrily. Not good.
Lesson 2: Don’t overwork yourself to the point of not enjoying what you do.
The third part was a mistake on my end. I had warned myself not to delve too deep into the internet and at one point made sure I followed my own advice. What happened? Silly old me looked up tweets by someone who ranted most of the time and RT’ed rant tweets. Add the fact I got blocked by some revered (as far as I know) yuri fans because I had the gall to be excited for and enjoy Happy Sugar Life and that added to my frustrations. The bright side was that months later when I saw what those exact people were tweeting about nowadays I was glad they blocked/unfollowed me. Good riddance. Besides that I unfollowed reviewers and Vloggers for the sake of my sanity. Too much negativity, highbrow nitpicking and ranting was getting on my nerves.
Lesson 3: Don’t waste time looking up internet gossip.
Next was my repeatedly being denied a vacation all year. Nuff said.
Lastly is what hurt me the most. In late November 2018 I lost someone I loved very much. I did not show it much but deep down it hit me hard. The only reason I tried staying strong for the family was to help encourage everyone to live strongly for the man we all cared so much for. He brought great joy to our lives by simply being there and while he will always be with us in spirit, his physical presence no longer being there left a void in our hearts. Still, life goes on and we must do all we can to enjoy the rest of our lives before being reunited with him in the Promised Land.
Lesson 4: Always cherish everyone you care for. You never know when they will be called up to the Pearly Gates.
These two videos by Black Nerd Comedy hit home that it was time for a change.
These videos hit home. I thankfully did not have it anywhere near as rough as Andre in 2018 but I got where he was coming from.
In my Episode 1 episodic of Endro~! I remarked about needing headache pills. I was not joking when I said that.
So after all I said what are the changes coming to the blog? Simple. From Winter 2019 and onward I will cover less shows per season. Instead of the usual 6-7 I will lower it to 3. Technically 4 because I will continue covering annual installments of Pretty Cure (Unless the season focuses on a het romance. Then no thank you). Besides. There are a lot of shows and games on my backlog I want to cover and time is not on my side. I plan to keep the blog going as long as possible but I do not know how long I can keep this up. The announced change will hopefully help keep me motivated to continue for a while longer. Other shows I will follow Rory’s example by posting a brief roundup of what else I am watching and my brief thought on how I feel about them so far, leading up to my G-Views for all shows.
I thank everyone who took the time to read this and hope we can work together to continue spreading Yuri love for years to come.
PS: This is not a retirement speech. There are times I have considered it, yes, but I have many friends supporting me so I still got plenty to share with the world. I am far from finished.