Life Lessons: Follow Your Heart

I had a feeling this day would come sooner or later. The day someone would call me out for doing what I do. The day someone would tell me “A guy running a yuri blog is disturbing/creepy/irksome etc.”. I had subconsciously prepared myself for this day and will address the situation here and now. This is a serious post so no pictures.

This reminds me of a post I shared a while back by fellow yuri fan Cytrus detailing how the dated “Yuri is nothing but lesbian porn made for horny men” notion is an exaggeration. In a sense this post is a followup of that research. As mentioned in the introduction I was called out by someone saying that a man running a yuri blog is disturbing. Whether the person meant to offend me or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is the person’s message. What the person said was that it is wrong for me to run a yuri blog because of my gender. I get it. I understand that some people initially find it freaky for a straight man to talk about lesbian romance. However, when that man’s goal is to promote lesbian romance, in my case focusing on drawn, digital and animated formats, in a positive light every single time, showing as many interested people as possible yuri media that is not pornographic lesbian cartoons/comics/games but those telling tales of girls/women being attracted to or falling in love with one another, does his gender matter? When the message is a good one, why should a person’s gender be a defining/deciding factor? So by this opinion does that mean women are not allowed to talk about yaoi either? And if they are, why is it considered “safer” than when a man talks about yuri? That is why I brought up the link I mentioned above. The stigma of ” many men only seeing women as sexual stimulation and not human beings” still exists and it bothers me.

I know that there is yuri hentai out there but what some people have not yet grasped is that like live-action lesbian media, the yuri genre pertains to both romantic and sexual. The term shoujo-ai is used to differentiate the two and I know some people still need it to differentiate the romantic from the sexual Japanese lesbian content but by now most people have grasped the concept of yuri being used to signify all Japanese lesbian media in general.

I have been blogging (as of this post) for over four years now. In those four years people have come to respect my work and views. Why? Because they understand that when I talk about yuri I always do my best to honor, respect and appreciate the female characters, their journeys of being attracted to or falling in love with another woman. While I do show a preference for the romantic process over the sexual it is also known that I will not turn an eye on sexual yuri because lovemaking is part of most romantic relationships so long as the ones in love are willing after uniting. Besides I make sure to warn viewers whenever I discuss a yuri topic with not safe for work content in it. I also operate under the notion that my audience is aware that my content is PG-13 most of the time…unless they already informed their offspring about “the birds and the bees/the birds and the birds/the bees and the bees/the birds and the birds and the bees etc.”

I will conclude the post by saying this. I am a fan of yuri as a whole. I promote yuri and will continue doing so till I can no longer. I will always treat lesbians, real and fictional with honor and respect. There are people who understand this and for them and myself I will continue shining a positive light on the genre. Not everyone agrees with the shows I like but as far as yuri goes, many sense the sincerity in my words. That is why even though there are people who are bothered by my covering yuri because of the (thankfully weakening) stigma that all men see lesbianism solely as sexual stimulation and nothing more, I will not stop because I know all the thoughts I share on this blog are honest and sincere and do not belittle lesbians of any kind at all. You do not have to agree with my anime/manga/game views all the time but do not question my honesty.

For all the naysayers there are plenty of other yuri websites out there run by women for them to check out in order to feel less irked while reading. Sites like Lena K’s, Dr Animeniac’s, Yurinoboke, Jigoku der Himmel or the tried and true Okazu Yuricon to name a few.

So yeah there are indeed men out there who feel the same way about yuri and lesbianism as I do.

About OG-Man

Yuri and Slice of Life are my anime passion.
This entry was posted in Life Lessons and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Life Lessons: Follow Your Heart

  1. chikorita157 says:

    For the most part, I do respect people’s interest and passions since I have an open mind. However, I do notice a tend, especially with the so called drama that is still going on with gaming, which I would rather not mention. While I am for social justice and gender equality as most people would, I do feel that radical feminists (who are not actual feminists who care about fighting for women’s rights and equality) and the so called social justice warriors (a word I would rather not use) try to push their agenda and try to censor and ban content just because it offends them or doesn’t confirm to their views and they would harass and bully people that doesn’t agree to their beliefs and try to act like a victim. To make matters worse, they keep pushing the goalposts, meaning that they will never be satisfied no matter what you do. Not to mention, they also harass actual feminist and women in some cases for the same reasons.

    In short, it’s best not to engage in them by ignoring them completely and just follow your passions since life is too short to waste time on them. While I lurk around the drama in the gaming fandom, I feel that the radical faction of feminism is just making the movement look bad since the energy could be used for a better cause such as fighting for women’s rights in countries that they have little to no rights.

    Like

    • Overlord-G says:

      What I noticed recently is how subjective feminism has become. I honestly no longer have a clue what feminists stand for anymore. I always thought it was for women to stand on equal grounds as men, to have the same rights as men, to have female characters be depicted as strong and powerful in social media and even lend minority groups a helping hand. That’s what I was taught when I studied Social Work in college and seeing honest people share their thoughts.
      Now I don;t know what they want anymore. They come off as more self-serving and impossible to satisfy rather than noble.
      As for so-called social justice warriors…less said about them the better.

      Like

      • D.T. Nova says:

        There are different kinds of feminism, but what you say you thought is more or less the part that all feminists agree on . There can be disagreement about the less obvious things without conflicting with the core ideals.

        In this case, I think the criticism stemmed from one idea that’s caught on within various movements recently that I don’t agree with; the idea that “appropriation” is both everywhere and generally harmful. In particular I think the comment against you was similar to the many comments that were against a straight man winning an award for a gay-themed song (“Same Love”)..

        Liked by 1 person

      • Overlord-G says:

        That reminded me of the “feminism” chapter in sociology class. There are indeed different kinds of feminists.
        Your second paragraph talking about “appropriation” reminded me of social justice warriors accusing Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande’s helping homeless homosexuals and supporting gay rights as them engaging in self-serving publicity stunts. Again the less said about SJWs the better.

        Like

  2. Kurokanako says:

    Hey, I actually never noticed you were a guy, and quite frankly I don’t care! You make a lot of valid points, it’s annoying that it’s more sociably “acceptable” for girls to like yaoi than for guys to like yuri in a non-hentai way! I knew a bunch of girls back in highschool who would read pretty hardcore yaoi and nobody would bat an eye, but when a good friend of mine said he liked yuri these same girls told him that was disgusting.. Oh the irony of it all…
    I often check your blog when I’m searching for new yuri (and trust me, that happens quite often…) because I know it’s where I’ll find the best reviews and suggestions. So yeah, thank you for all the hard work you invested in this blog, you’re totally awesome and I will keep coming here often 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Overlord-G says:

      I can understand why it happens but it is best to not jump the gun right away and wrongfully misjudge a guy without being given a chance to find out he’s not all bad.
      I do my best to keep viewers informed. Many thanks for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. kracen says:

    I’ve always had very little interest in what other people have to say about my preference in anime/manga, I’ll talk about it with my friends who like manga and anime, some have criticised my preference, mostly because the genre of their choosing is always action packed and fighting (Most never get beyond the Dragon Ball years of them growing up) and can’t seem to see why people could watch anything else.
    I’ve always lived by one simple factor, if I don’t value their opinion on something, why should anything they think matter to me…
    Yuri will most likely always be misunderstood, purely due to perverted human nature and the internets/anyone who knows even just basic stuff about cultures that are not their own understanding of some of the weird stuff that can come out of Japan…
    So some people will just think its perversion to get you off… Some will think it is just used to describe porn (I used to be in this category). Misunderstandings due to lack of informed information will always exist so this is nothing new, all you can do is provide them with the information, or try to correct their misinformation, and if they’re unable to then understand, they’re either too stupid or stuck in their ways… Either way, at this point their opinion is no longer valid and not worth your time.
    Yuri is a passion, not a perversion for some of us, whether they like it or not, who cares.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Overlord-G says:

      The trials yuri fans must face almost on a daily. All the yuri nation can do for now is continue showing the ones who wish to listen/read/hear that yuri is more than something related to porn. Yuri is love between women in all Japanese forms, both romantic and sexual.

      Liked by 1 person

      • kracen says:

        I’m curious about your story though (If you don’t mind sharing that is), you only said you were called out, but by whom? Someone you know personally or someone who happened to stumble upon this website and your other forms of media?
        If the former, how significant was this person to your life, and how only now did they find out a part of your life that means quite a bit to you.
        My experience with two of my anime watching friends are quite polar opposites, one enjoys listening to the anime/manga’s I’ve been watching/reading as he finds it amusing how my demeanour changes so dramatically when I talk about it, from cold and stoic to positively bubbling. The other said and I quote “That’s pretty f*&king gay and pathetic”, to which I just laughed it off and stated how different interests are different.

        Like

      • Overlord-G says:

        Nah it was the latter. Figured I’d get it out of the way immediately before it worsened.
        The former, the people I revealed this to are cool with me liking the genre but are not as into as much as I am. They’re cool with homosexuals.
        As for your own experiences, my aforementioned friends are more like your first friend. Thankfully none of them are like your second.

        Like

  4. elkat4 says:

    Isn’t being a yuri fan essentially similar to being an ally to the LGBT community? Both men and women can support the LGBT community without (much) discrimination, so why are male yuri fans? Because of archaic notions that all yuri “lesbian hentai”? That’s wrong! That is horribly wrong and we should take it upon ourselves to inform others of the romantic aspects of yuri. Whenever anybody tries to hassle you for being a fan of yuri, use that a starting point to discuss the full spectrum of yuri and teach them that men can be fans of this beautiful genre!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. goodboy64 says:

    It’s a shame that people still encounter vitriol for simply liking a thing. And a niche genre of medium more specifically in your case. I wonder if I will one day encounter my own experience for writing a yuri web novel? I hope not. In any case, I’d say you handled it pretty well, so good on you!

    Like

  6. automaticimperfection says:

    The way I see it ,it’s such a treat to have a sensitive ,respectful straight man not only supporting a way of life but also promoting good art,in the way of manga,anime,games, that many like-minded people can discover, being a lesbian myself I grew up searching for some sort of media approval,like lesbian themed movies or something so that I would have it confirmed that it wasn’t only a few of us,that it wasn’t wrong,that it wasn’t only sex to arouse men or to sell.

    Sites like yours should exist and keep on going, what matters is we all deserve respect and the right to enjoy our lives,and if a guy,or a girl,or a transexual or any other gender identity diversity person wants to have a yuri or lesbian site, so be it!!

    So,again,thanks for sharing so many goodies with us,also for mentioning my blog on your post, I’m quite flattered,and well I think I told you,your site made me feel like writing more.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Overlord-G says:

      I admire your willpower to keep on going searching and enjoying yuri/lesbian goodness no matter what.

      I do my best to keep on going.

      You clearly love yuri so you deserve a mention friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Foxy Lady Ayame says:

    It’s the “you have to get our seal of approval” sort of sexism sjw and some people of minorities engage in. Separatism, self-ghetto-ism, you name it. Don’t mind them.

    Like

  8. Denny Sinnoh says:

    RE: “A guy running a yuri blog is disturbing/creepy/irksome etc.”

    I think any detractors who say that are not able to accept or understand reality.

    Of course a “normal” guy is going to like Yuri-themes. It reflects one of the most beautiful things in the human existence-experience. Why not write or discuss it?

    Anyone who cannot see that has a hard time seeing truth in this world.

    Like

    • Overlord-G says:

      Problem is that it is precisely because this is the human race we are talking about that there will be people who refuse to accept me…and yet it would not surprise me one bit that some of them may be stalking the blog. That is how life works.

      Like

  9. Balrog567 says:

    unfortunately dud but ur site it still creeps me out 100%no not yuri genre but the thoght of male like you talking about yuri it jus feelz disturbin’. honest i wold rather feel more comfortable reading fridmen than you. you jus definding yrself now makes it feel even more uncomforatble cause your pointing it out yrself

    Like

    • Overlord-G says:

      There are plenty of other options out there.

      Like

    • kracen says:

      This is the OG-mans and your issue so I don’t exactly want to get involved… But if you don’t like it… Why are you here? Why do you follow his blog?
      It just seems you’re here specifically to get annoyed by something you dislike so you can vent out frustration.
      The rest of us here (As far as I am aware at least) never even took into consideration what gender he was, and even if we did, none of us cared… His reviews on the shows are always platonic and are never just mindless drooling over girl on girl relationships.
      Even if you think its creepy or whatever, there are far worse blogs out there promoting far worse things, perhaps you should complain at them rather than what something someone does in their own time with their own interests.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Overlord-G says:

        I appreciate you standing up for me and the nation kracen but worry not. It is what it is. Nothing we can do about it.

        Like

  10. mutopis says:

    keep the fight yuribro, the world needs moar yuri more than ever.

    Just ignore those who dont understand, it is their opinion.

    I like yuri because it is the purest form of live. there are few hetero manga/anime that I am ok with, but so much of it just seems to be boring, unoriginal, or bland/predictable. The only satisfaction that I ever get is from yuri. Yuri hentai would be more fun if it had more plot in it, instead of just sex (I think I read a couple of it that were ok).

    I am more of a human rights and equality for all kind of person.

    Like

    • Overlord-G says:

      You know I will dood. I have so much more to give to the yuri nation.

      Exactly. There are people who just don’t like me or what I do. It is what it is.

      There are very few het romance anime that grab my attention.

      We yuribros and yurisistas have to stick together instead of debating gender limitations or give in to separatism.

      Like

  11. Juny says:

    Honestly I stumbled here first and just can’t find an exit( not that I’d use it). 🙂 I feel like if I try to read other blogs I’ll find myself returning here, so why not just stay in this wonderful place.

    My ‘yuri group’ is all guys except me! But it warms my heart to see them understand and respect lesbianism and enjoy a good story. Unfortunately there’s always going to be men seeing women differently and women seeing men differently. I just try to surround myself with people that identify as human. Thats how simple it should be. Or well that’s how I’ve come to terms with myself. Gender shouldn’t count toward anything, it just is. We are all wired differently even beyond gender. Such a specific label can not do any good in my opinion.

    Goodluck with everything again, life and all. You’ve put so many smiles on my face. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Overlord-G says:

      Many thanks for the support and hopefully there are more peeps such as yourself and those who frequent my humble abode.

      Like

  12. 217 says:

    To be honest I’m not even a super regular reader of this blog, and I’m not going to use my regular internet name because I might get kind of PERSONAL here, but I figured I should comment on this

    Personally I’ve always just been into yuri because it resonates with me more than other kinds of romance. I’ve never actually wanted to be male at any point in my life, and it’s not an identity I take any pride in. I’ve considered going the trans route on several occasions, and it’s definitely not something I have a problem with other people doing, but for me personally I just don’t feel like it would accomplish enough to be worth pursuing. Ultimately I decided I’d never be satisfied anyway, and it’s probably better for me to be seen as a decent-looking guy than a not-so-decent looking girl even I’m not truly comfortable with it. Technically I’m bi too, but I have a strong enough preference for girls that f/f romance just makes the most sense to me.

    I don’t read yuri because “girl on girl is hot” or anything – I mean it is, in the sense that literally anyone who is into girls would think so, but I’m actually not in it for sexual content at all. Sex and romance are almost completely separate concepts for me, and if the characters get any more intimate than like, passionate kissing or nipple stuff or something, I usually quit reading. Fanservice bugs me too, albeit not so much as long as it’s subtle and not being shoved in my face constantly.

    Basically I just like yuri because it’s cute and fun and warms my heart when I’m feeling bad about stuff, and since I can never actually be a girl and have never been in any relationships either, that kind of escapism is vital to my happiness at this point I guess. But I still don’t really talk much about being a Yuri Loving Fuck to anyone other than my closest friends, because I’m afraid people will see me as their image of a typical “male yuri fan” and make assumptions regardless of my actual intentions. And to some extent I see why – there are plenty of guys who act genuinely creepy about this stuff – but at the same time, I feel like that mindset is really kind of hurtful in that it alienates a lot of people with situations like mine that actually do have harmless and potentially very personal reasons to be into this stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Overlord-G says:

      You have gone through a lot, faced many challenges and I commend you for having found your identity through it all. I wish you nothing but luck in your future.
      Sharing one’s yuri passion offline outside of your clique is never easy. I only revealed this detail to people I knew would not blow this reveal out of proportion because as you mentioned, despite the stigma being exaggerated there are some cretins out there. All a yuri fan with a noble mindset can do is be strong and keep on supporting the genre.

      Like

  13. yurimylove says:

    BRAVO! Can i quote your article in my “yuribro manifesto”… that I’m going to write some day 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Just a passant says:

    Man, i totaly agree with you! people are free to like wathever they want, and free to share and discuss about their passion. i don’t even know why there are people who don’t get it. And even if they’re not comfortable with a guy writing about yuri, what is the point of contacting him to call him irk, disturbing or whatever?
    to be clear, if it was a guy who just think “lesbian sex/lesbian hentai is a sexual stimulation” (which is clearly not the case, here), i would probably find it disturbing somewhere, but i’ll just ignore and go away.
    What is fun is that when a girl read yaoi, whether in a sexual way or not, no one call it weird (except people who don’t like/ find weird manga’s fan in general)
    if a girl read yuri, it will not cause too much problems except that there will be some peoples automatically thinking that she is a lesbian (while girls who read yuri are not always homosexual)
    but when it’s a guy who like yuri… well, you get the idea.
    I don’t understand that peoples don’t try to go beyond prejudice.

    With that, you might think that i’m a girl, or at least that i’m a yuri fan? well, no. i’m a guy, and i haven’t tried yuri! The funniest part being that i have a friend (a girl), who is a huge yuri fan, trying by all meanq to convince me to read yuri! 😀
    Actually, it’s her who lead me to your blog.
    Aniway, good continuation to you!

    Like

    • Overlord-G says:

      Thankfully it is not frequent that I get called out for this and as you said it is no big deal when a guy talks about yuri in a positive way.
      Tell your gal pal I said hello and thanks for introducing you to my blog to share your thoughts on the subject. Thank you for that and for stopping by dood!

      Like

  15. idunnosomthingwitty says:

    I recently got into yuri (came for pr0n stayed for heartwarming romance). The more romantic genre of anime has always been my favorite (lovely complex and spice and wolf to name a few) and this just clicked. i still feel a little odd watching or reading yuri and still don’t understand fully why my brain just prefers this (note, i am a male) but I’ve decided to roll with it. there is just something that my brain loves about watching two women fall in love and the drama that comes with it.

    Like

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