Yup. I went on vacation again this year and have some more useful tips to help readers make the best of a similar vacation. Last year’s Vacation Edition covered holiday cruises. This year we’ll talking about vacations with medical purposes.
-First and foremost if you’re either recommended or planning to hire a tour guide, make sure the guide is not a swindling haggler. If you do not notice he’s a swindler right away, pay very close attention to the following on the first day of the tour:
A: The tourist traps he takes you to. The more expensive or lackluster they are, the higher the chances are the guide secretly operates with the owners of these establishments, INTENTIONALLY charging suckers more than usual so they can get a portion of the profit.
B: If the guide has a spouse and said spouse CONVENIENTLY visits the same spots you go to on the same day you have an appointment at said spot (the hospital for example), red flag.
C: If you noticed the guide is a swindler, when “getting rid of him/her, avoid hostile confrontations whenever possible. Make sure to do it as formally as possible so that the guide will not get upset and possibly do bad thing to you.
Since the trip’s main objective is for you to go to the hospital for either a check-up or operation, be prepared for many days of boredom after the operation or check-ups.
Never underestimate the benefits of healthcare and health insurance..It’ll save you A LOT OF MONEY! Seriously unless your paychecks are large or have a sweet deal with the bank do not try to pay for an operation yourself unless there is no other choice.
Contrary to what uptight internet/magazine critics say, farts are funny, especially when one of your relatives is a walking stink bomb who can control his poots and is known to have knocked out an entire office.
Hotel beds suck. Be prepared to have trouble sleeping at night…unless you’re a heavy sleeper. This tip mostly applies to people who sleep after midnight.
Some Hispanic women are known for their bodies developing at an early age without surgery (and no it’s not because of plastic surgery, not all of them.).
If you’re going to watch telenovelas, ALWAYS make sure they’re of Latin, Hispanic or Spanish descent. Do not pick any other kind up. Trust me.
-If you’re a homeless bum (possibly drunk) and are desperately scrounging for food in piles of garbage on the streets,
A: Do not do it in broad daylight in front of ongoing traffic.
B: Do not throw the garbage bags onto the streets when you find nothing edible in the bags.
C: Do not ignore steps A and B in an area where there are many nearby cops.
D: If you are caught by these cops, DO NOT THROW A TANTRUM! Instead pick up the mess you made and hope the cops will let it slide…though after what you did praying for no longer than a day in jail is the safest option.
If you wish to go on vacation to Colombia, I advise against choosing Bogota. Bogota is not exactly a tourist friendly area…unless you have A LOT of money to mindlessly spend.